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Fic: Five Kinds of Tired (NCIS)

Title: Five Kinds of Tired
Author: kaylashay
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: I'm not Bellesario or CBS, so I don't claim to own them.
Word Count: 5 x 100
Challenge: ncis_drabble; Challenge #89 - Tired

SPOILERS: 05x18 Judgement Day

Crossposted: ncis_drabble; ncisfanfic; tonydinozzo

Summary: Tiredness can come from many sources...

He learned early in life to keep watch, but stay silent. If he allowed himself to fall asleep on nights that his father had one too many drinks in the study, he would regret it in the morning when he saw his mother’s bruised face. He learned to stay awake and watch his father. The slightest move the man made towards his mother would be interrupted by his “no good son”. His bruises were never as obvious as hers, but he could remember each and every one of them. His job as protector was tiring, but better him than her.

Once he was away from his father and the life he hated, he found a whole new reason to stay up at night. There were parties and college girls, many college girls. He felt the strain the next day as he struggled to make it to class or pushed himself on the field in practice. Apparently old habits died hard and his early life made him a night owl. He settled into a routine that involved little sleep, plenty of tiredness and loads of fun. College was the best days of his life until that football injury destroyed it all.

He became a cop. It wasn’t something he ever thought of before the injury, but after he chance for a pro career went to hell he had to find something to do. It was the excitement factor that called him to it. He never gave thought to all the other things it would entail. He saw things that disgusted him. He had partners that hated him on principle just because he came from money. Most of all, it was tiring. Thoughts of the people he couldn’t help, the ones that got away, the shit he saw; it was so tiring.

He thought he knew what working until you dropped was from all the cities he bounced to over the years, but he found himself in a whole new league with Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The man didn’t stop when he was on the job and he expected those around to keep up or get out of his way. He silently thanked his father in some macabre way for preparing him for sleepless nights at the hands of a bastard from an early age. He survived his father and Gibbs was a pushover compared to that. Strangely, he started to like it.

Seven years and he was finally beginning to feel burned out. Seven years of pushing himself to meet standards higher than anyone should expect him to reach. Things were out of hand and he was screwing up left and right. At first he thought it was a coincident, but the death of Jenny on the back of the fiasco with Jeanne was the sign he needed. He was tired and making stupid, rookie mistakes. He knew he should just quit instead of going to the Reagan. But tired as he was, he didn’t want Gibbs’ disappointment. He couldn’t quit NCIS.

Comments

( 24 Campfires — Leave a Comment )
donutsweeper
Jun. 9th, 2008 05:43 am (UTC)
oh poor Tony, especially kid!tony *sniff*
kaylashay
Jun. 10th, 2008 03:45 am (UTC)
kid!tony hits a special place in my fic writing muse's heart. :-)

And YOU + Tony + Donut = Awesome and Perfect Icon for YOU!! :-)
donutsweeper
Jun. 10th, 2008 03:52 am (UTC)
I managed to convince a friend to watch NCIS *YAY* and she fell in love with Tony and when she saw him eating the donut in "Family" she had to make the icon for me. Oh course Tony loves donuts, what perfect man like him wouldn't?

Thats right, you've written kid!tony before! *sigh* I loved your story with his teacher
kaylashay
Jun. 10th, 2008 03:55 am (UTC)
I hooked my roomie on it and a few others... and may even get my aunt hook. :-)

I'm still toying with writing a Sentinel crossover that will start out with kid!Tony in Hawaii. :-)
donutsweeper
Jun. 10th, 2008 03:57 am (UTC)
oooh, that could really work! And it's important to cross Tony into as many fandoms as possible!
(Anonymous)
Jun. 3rd, 2009 01:15 am (UTC)
please
oh please do i love the sentinel and ncis crossovers
mylogiceatsyou
Jun. 9th, 2008 06:12 am (UTC)
That's exactly how I see Tony - protecting his Mum, no matter what the cost.

...And the rest, well, again...so very Tony. His loyalty to Gibbs being too important, he can't quit NCIS...he's just going to wait it out until Gibbs fixes things, because no doubt Tony believes he can.
kaylashay
Jun. 10th, 2008 03:46 am (UTC)
I think Tony is a protector by nature... like Gibbs. They make sure everyone around them is okay and safe even if they aren't
mylogiceatsyou
Jun. 10th, 2008 06:29 am (UTC)
Definitely. Just one of the many similarities they share.
ksl2025
Jun. 9th, 2008 10:19 am (UTC)
Nice
I like this. :-)

I always enjoy these up close looks at what motivates a character. How they became who they are.

And I really liked this practical explanation for the mistakes Tony made over this past season. Being tired does that to you---affects your judgment and ability to think things through.
kaylashay
Jun. 10th, 2008 03:50 am (UTC)
Re: Nice
I think Tony started getting tired either just before or just after Gibbs took his walk-about. It actually good have gone back to Kate's death and the plague. I think if he had been fully on his game he never would have taken the assignments from the director even if he wanted to prove something in Gibbs' absence. I think I may need to explore this thought some more... hmmm...
emony2
Jun. 9th, 2008 11:08 am (UTC)
oh, Tony.
kaylashay
Jun. 10th, 2008 03:51 am (UTC)
I know... Tony can be so emo...
abe16kidbosco
Jun. 9th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
That was amazing!!! I love how you focused on Tony's past and helped the story tell how he became who he is today... I can't wait for more! :D
kaylashay
Jun. 10th, 2008 03:52 am (UTC)
Thanks! I'm a Tony sucker... I love the guy to pieces.
abe16kidbosco
Jun. 10th, 2008 04:51 am (UTC)
*Giggles* I am, too. :)
citymusings
Jun. 9th, 2008 09:48 pm (UTC)
Beautiful. I love how protective of his mother you've made him.

You have a good point. Maybe the time on the Regan will be good for Tony - let him get some rest, renew his energy, and come back a better agent for having had the "break".
kaylashay
Jun. 10th, 2008 03:53 am (UTC)
He really has some parent issues in his past and he's let them show through a few times. While I think he didn't like his mother for some things, I don't think it was 100% hate. Same with his father.

Hopefully he won't be ship bound for too long.
citymusings
Jun. 10th, 2008 04:04 am (UTC)
Probably true. Though I get the impression things were worse with his dad.

Agreed. Maybe a couple weeks. Just a short "vacation".
sunshine_sean
Jun. 10th, 2008 10:05 am (UTC)
Awesome. That's the only word to describe your fic. I love it. And I'd like to hug Tony for the rest of his life *sniff*
kaylashay
Jun. 11th, 2008 06:05 am (UTC)
I always want to hug Tony... he's just got that "I need a hug" vibe. :-)

Glad you liked!
pegasuspup
Jun. 15th, 2008 02:38 am (UTC)
very nice. The only comment I have (and it is a pet peeve, so sorry if this is too de minimis) is that the standard U.S. spelling of Judgment is without the extra e. Using the second e is more of a British spelling.

Again, sorry to be so persnickety.
(Anonymous)
Jun. 3rd, 2009 02:55 am (UTC)
umm... is that CL. Shepard as your pic.
azraelz_angel
Jul. 9th, 2008 06:56 pm (UTC)
I'm so very thankful that I never grew up in a violent home. I can't imagine what it would be like, as a child, to put yourself in the line of fire so that your mother wouldn't take the abuse. The parents are supposed to protect the children, not the other way around...

Yay for lots of college girls!! Yum, college!Tony is just awesome. *is jealous for the many, many college girls that got to wear out Tony* Being tired from parties and girls (or boys in my case) is never a bad thing.

Good job going back to Tony's past and touching on his job as a cop. The endless hours, the cases that just keep piling up, everything about it...it would be very tiring. But someone has to do it, and Tony was a good man for the job.

Who would have ever guessed that Tony's bastard of a father would be good for something? And yes, I imagine that Gibbs was a walk in the park compared to his father.

Awww, and the last one just broke my heart. No Tony!! You can't quit!! But perhaps he was right, perhaps he needs a break, but wow - we need Tony, must have Tony!!

( 24 Campfires — Leave a Comment )

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