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Fic: Two Reasons (NCIS)

Title: Two Reasons
Author: kaylashay
Rating: FR15
Disclaimer: I'm not Bellesario or CBS, so I don't claim to own them.
Genre: Slash
Fandoms: NCIS; and dialogue taken from pilot episode of Kings (NBC)
Word Count: 1,000
Pairing: Pre - Gibbs/DiNozzo
Spoilers: Episode Tag to 06x18 Knockout
Timeline: Pre-Series; Post-Knockout
Beta: azraelz_angel! Thanks for staying up a few more minutes!!
Challenge: ncis1000words; Challenge #1
Prompt: "I get the distinct impression you've never done this before."

And the Coffee goes to... Tony! He had to suffer his whole life in this, so the least I can do is give him a cup of coffee.

Crossposted: ncis1000words; ncis_slash; ncisfanfic; gibbsbasement; ncis_fic

Summary: There was a reason he left and a reason he stayed, but it all boiled down to the same thing.

"…and you're here draining my wine cellar," were the first words that registered with Tony as his father walked into the room.

"Isn't it great?" he responded with more enthusiasm than he felt. "You bought my way into Harvard."

"So, you heard. Congratulations Anthony."

Tony looked up at his father from his position on the floor as he kept the bottle of Jack firmly tucked in his hands. "I don't want Harvard, Father. I earned a football scholarship to Ohio State. Buying my way into Harvard is your way of saying 'Anthony couldn't hack it in school like that nephew of mine who is going to take my place at the company one day.'"

Tony stood up and drew himself to his full height, as he looked his father in the eye.

"You really want to do this now," his father's condescending voice dripped out.

"If I am going to be the son you want, I need to earn my own way into the school you want, not be shoed in by your money. I've always done every damn thing you wanted just to make you proud of me!"

"I know that."

Tony balled his hands into fists. "Then what? I've gotten the grades, been the model student, joined every team, club and organization the school had to offer. Everyone tells me how good I've done except the one who needs to the most."

When his father didn't respond, Tony tried a different path. "Is it my reputation? The big party guy? None of that matters, it's not who I am."

"Oh, if only it was," his father's voice all but whispered in his ear. And Tony's heart fell. His father knew.

"What I wouldn't give for a playboy who can't keep it in his pants and who runs through women. But what I have is a son who shows no interest in them."

Tony backed up a half a step and his father took advantage of the change in order.

"Oh? You thought I didn't know? I've been keeping pictures of you out of the public since I shipped you to that military academy. What you do at night with your boys after your show of skirt chasing is a disgrace. If you weren't my only son, I wouldn't care, but for me to eventually hand you the company, it's not possible. Not possible."

Tony was struggling to keep the tears in check as his father continued his pounding.

"We give up what we want when we want power, believe me. Now you want to show me you have the heart to be my son, show me you can control it! Run it to the ground, numb it with ice, but you cannot be what God made you. Not if you mean to take my place," he said with hatred Tony could feel in his bones.

Then his father patted him on the shoulder. "Celebrate since you're going to Harvard, Anthony. It's what you're good at."

Anthony DiNozzo cried.




DiNozzo men don't cry.

Since that day in the basement of his father's house, Tony had made that one of his personal rules. He had broken it only few times (like the day Paula had died, or Kate), but he did his best to not let anyone see it; to not let anyone know he needed to.

Since Jeanne it had been hard to connect with anyone. He had loved her, but not in a way that everyone assumed. He knew it never would have worked out even without the whole "undercover" aspect hanging over them.

Since his father turned him away, Tony had unconsciously done everything his father had said he would approve of. He was a playboy. He chased skirts. He did his damnedest not to let his eyes wander once to a boy. He forced himself to be something he was not and it tore him apart every day of his life.

Then he had met Leroy Jethro Gibbs and he couldn't not look. He did his best to hide it from everyone. He still chased the women, but never kept them for long. He played the role to the point that the role became him instead of the other way around. When Gibbs left for Mexico, Tony almost walked away. But faith that the other man couldn't stay away kept him at NCIS.

More years passed and now he couldn't escape the lie he had created in his life. His dry spell was from him finally realizing he shouldn't make his life something his father wanted. He had done what his father wanted his whole life and now he wanted something more.

Tony panicked when Gibbs had forcibly told him that 'he knew' after that head slap. He flashed back to that day his father called him a disgrace. He thought, for a fleeting moment that Gibbs knew what Tony really wanted; that Tony wanted Gibbs as more than his boss and friend.

Tony couldn't censure his mouth when he asked Gibbs for advice on his sex life. He was more than grateful that the older man told him to 'snap out of it.' If only it were so easy.

That night, Tony found himself driving aimlessly through the city with his thoughts in turmoil. Tara had told him to find a woman, but apparently she didn't know everything. He wanted a man. He wanted Gibbs.

He was running on autopilot until he found himself standing at the foot of the basement stairs watching Gibbs work on the boat. He had lied to himself for years and he finally wanted to come clean about everything, even if it meant losing Gibbs.

"I'm gay," he said quietly over the rasp of the sandpaper gliding across the wood.

"I get the distinct impression you've never done this before," Gibbs said.

"Coming out? The last time wasn't my choice and it didn't end so well."

"Maybe this time will be better," Gibbs said quietly as he stepped toward Tony.




Author's Note: I watched Kings on NBC and the scene between King Silas and his son Jack made me think, "What if Tony's father had said those things to him?" The dialogue between the two is modified dialogue from the show to fit Tony, but it's really close to what was said. If you want to watch the scene that inspired this, go here and watch the second video clip down.

Comments

( 48 Campfires — Leave a Comment )
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tejas
Mar. 20th, 2009 03:45 am (UTC)
Oh, yeah. Nice!
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 03:48 am (UTC)
The bunnies from hell attacked me while I was down... I've the bug that's going around and feel like crap, but when bunnies bite, you have to respond.

I was almost upset I was doing a Knockout tag because I didn't really like the episode as a whole...

:-)
(no subject) - tejas - Mar. 20th, 2009 03:49 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Mar. 20th, 2009 04:18 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tejas - Mar. 20th, 2009 04:21 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Mar. 20th, 2009 04:25 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tejas - Mar. 20th, 2009 04:26 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Mar. 20th, 2009 04:28 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - tejas - Mar. 20th, 2009 04:31 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Mar. 20th, 2009 04:43 am (UTC) - Expand
writinginct
Mar. 20th, 2009 03:49 am (UTC)
I just KNEW that last episode was going to inspire some awesome Tony-centric fic and here it is! :)

::hugs you::

Your internet lives? Woot!!!!
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:22 am (UTC)
::hugs back in my mind because I'm sick and I don't want to spread it::

My internet has lived for about a week, but I'm not proclaiming that too loudly yet because I don't think Comcast knows I have it back. They may take it away again. Plus they are going through and cutting more trees down around me so there's room for disaster.

I rewatched the Kings scene tonight and it just HIT me. And then I couldn't stop myself. I knew I was going to do two 500 word pieces that connected, but I hadn't decided when to set the one with Gibbs. But when I ended the first one with Tony crying (just like Jack did in Kings), I knew I had to set it post-Knockout.

:-)
(no subject) - writinginct - Mar. 20th, 2009 04:30 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Mar. 20th, 2009 04:33 am (UTC) - Expand
milanthruil
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:02 am (UTC)
omg poor Tony! *hugs him*

This was a wonderful story. :)
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:26 am (UTC)
Thanks!

I couldn't resist after rewatching that Kings scene tonight.
kateri_e
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:17 am (UTC)
Oh my, very nice in that very sad but there is a light at the end of th tunnel way. But then I love making things difficult for Tony ;)
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:27 am (UTC)
It's so easy to make it difficult for Tony...

The poor guy. It's why I gave him the coffee. :-)
triskellion
Mar. 20th, 2009 05:06 am (UTC)
Very nice. The two halves fit very well together. You also dealt well with the slashy subtones in Knockout that drove me so nuts (when I was ignoring the Tiva slaps to the face). Very sweet and lots of fun. Nice work.
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:32 pm (UTC)
The Tiva was driving me insane. I really don't want any kind of on-screen 'romance' with those two. I don't want to see any of the immediate team (tony, mcgee, gibbs, ziva) together on-screen. I think I would be okay if one of them was with Abby on screen.

Thanks! I couldn't believe I was doing a tag to Knockout, but it worked.
dhae_knight
Mar. 20th, 2009 06:29 am (UTC)
That was awesome! Although... aww... poor, poor Tony. Hmm... did I read that right? Was DiNozzo senior suppressing his own gay tendencies? Grrrr... idiot! :-(

Also - your explanation for the 'just find the right woman' and the dry spell? exactly what I thought when I watched the episode. Tony doesn't need to find the right woman! He needs to accept the truth and go out and get his man! :-D
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:34 pm (UTC)
My first thought after that elevator scene was that Tony needed the right man. :-)

Actually, if you take it from Kings, the King was talking about the fact he had a whore who he loved but supposedly gave up in order to move forward in life. Near the end we find out he didn't truly give her up and that there is a young son involved.
xanthe
Mar. 20th, 2009 08:57 am (UTC)
I much prefer your Tony and Gibbs to the ones we've seen on the show lately - can we keep yours and send the others back? Poor Tony - I love his angst in this story, and that he finally faces up to the reason why he's not doing well with women. and I'm SO glad Gibbs is waiting for him to come to that decision. Lovely!
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:37 pm (UTC)
Yeah, why can we get the good Tony and Gibbs and everyone else back in our show? I miss them. Thank god for fanfiction!

If I hadn't wanted to end it at 1000 words, I would have done more on the Tony/Gibbs angle. But I actually do like where I ended it.

I like the idea that Gibbs has always known about Tony and he was just waiting at the sidelines for Tony to become comfortable with himself and who he really is. Gibbs didn't want to push Tony into something until Tony would be comfortable with it. :-)
adnamamai
Mar. 20th, 2009 09:07 am (UTC)
Wow! I'm impressed someone came up with a good ending for Knockout. Thanks!
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:38 pm (UTC)
And when I started, I didn't know it would end up a tag to Knockout. But when I ended the first section with Tony crying, I couldn't resist the 'DiNozzo men don't cry' line from Knockout.

Glad you liked!
brilliantomega
Mar. 20th, 2009 01:03 pm (UTC)
More?
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:39 pm (UTC)
Probably not. Unless the bunnies from hell return tonight. I think I wanted to leave it there as opposed to going into Tony and Gibbs pending relationship.
(no subject) - brilliantomega - Mar. 22nd, 2009 04:12 am (UTC) - Expand
ghosts_writer
Mar. 20th, 2009 02:12 pm (UTC)
Awwwwwwe! Lovely as always. Thanks.
kaylashay
Mar. 20th, 2009 04:39 pm (UTC)
Yay! Glad you liked. :-)
(Deleted comment)
kaylashay
Mar. 21st, 2009 12:45 am (UTC)
It didn't even hit the first time I watched the scene. But on a second viewing last night it was like "BAM!"

It was an awesome scene on Kings and I'm glad you like what I did with it.

:-)
adafrog
Mar. 20th, 2009 06:46 pm (UTC)
Poor Tony.
kaylashay
Mar. 21st, 2009 12:45 am (UTC)
We're all so rough with him... Poor boy... That's why he got coffee for the ncis1000words comm.

:-)
(no subject) - adafrog - Mar. 21st, 2009 05:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
thefannishwaldo
Mar. 20th, 2009 10:28 pm (UTC)
Oh yes! This is awesome. Poor angsty Tony. Boy never can catch a break.

And I often find that episodes I like the least can make for the best fic. Oftentimes because I don't like them because they leave huge mack-truck sized holes in their plots and or character development and it leaves me a billion places I can fill in the gaps. :)
kaylashay
Mar. 21st, 2009 01:02 am (UTC)
Angsty Tony is so much fun to play with. Poor boy.

Very true on the episode front. It's like we need to correct what went so wrong with the episode.

:-)
hawk_soaring
Mar. 21st, 2009 02:01 am (UTC)
Oh -- I loved this! Very ingenious way to justify Tony's skirt-chasing. Loved that he went to Jethro in the end. Well done!
kaylashay
Mar. 21st, 2009 02:03 am (UTC)
Thanks!

I was rewatching that scene and it just hit me.

Tony always does seem to overcompensate for something when it comes to women. Gotta wander what.
ferneberga
Mar. 21st, 2009 05:37 pm (UTC)
Sweet and painful or maybe painful and sweet; either way I loved the piece
kaylashay
Mar. 23rd, 2009 05:17 am (UTC)
I think painful and sweet would be most appropriate. Painful from Daddy D and sweet from Gibbs.

Glad you liked. :-)
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