Kayla Shay (kaylashay) wrote,
Kayla Shay
kaylashay

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FILK: X-Files Christmas Carols

Several years back in my first year of college (wow, 7 years ago), a friend of mine who went by Sary and had a love for the X-Files sat down with my Christmas carol book and we re-worked some of the classics. I remembered that I had these saved over at FFNet and thought I would share them with you. Be warned, they are kind of scary...



We Wish Agents Would Express Love
...sung to the tune of "We Wish You a Merry Christmas"

We wish agents would express love
We wish agents would express love
We wish agents would express love
And bring us some cheer!

Good Heavens we wish
They'd show us some skin
Good Heavens, from Christmas
To the happy New Year!

We want them to get together
We want them to get together
We want them to get together
To see them get near!

We won't go until they get some
We won't go until they get some
We won't go until they get some
So bring them right here!

We wish agents would express love
We wish agents would express love
We wish agents would express love
And bring us some cheer!




The First Oh Hell
...sung to the tune of "The First Noel"

The first Oh Hell
The agents did say
Was to certain poor smokers
In deals where they pay

In deals where they
Pay to keep trying to cheat
On a warm smoky night
That wasn't complete

Oh Hell
Oh Hell
Oh Hell
Oh Hell
Out of the sky an alien fell




Spooky Night
...sung to the tune of "Silent Night"

Silent Night
Spooky Night
All is Wrong
All is Fright

Round yon Agents
Dana and Fox
Spooky Agents
Who everyone mocks

Chase the alien beings
Chase the alien beings




O Run All Ye Doubtful
...sung to the tune of "O Come all ye Faithful"

O run all ye doubtful
Fearful of excitement
Oh run ye
Oh run ye to the
FBI
Come and implore him
Fox the strangest agent

O come let us implore him
O come let us implore him
O come let us implore him
Scully's ignored




Fox Rest Your Spooky Aliens
...sung to the tune of "God Rest Ye Merry Gentlemen"

Fox rest your spooky aliens
Let Scully not dismay

For Chris Carter our creator
Is taking off this day

To save us all from Smokey's power
Without his damned ashtray

Oh tidings of nicotine gum
Nicotine gum
Oh tidings of nicotine gum




Help! The Harried Agents Need
...sung to the tune of "Hark! The Herald Angels Sing"

Help! The harried agents need
Proof that even Skinner sees
Life on Mars is very wild
Fox and Dana reconcile

Fearful all ye nations hide
Or join the secrets of the skies
From the sky without good aim
Something fell that wasn't rain

Help! The harried agents need
Proof that even Skinner sees




Bad Ol CSM*
...sung to the tune of "Good King Wenceslas"

Bad ol' CSM looked out
On the beast of evil
When the smoke lay all about
It hindered his retreival

Brightly in the sky that night
Mulder saw a cruel
Vision of a UFO
Without any fuel

* CSM is the Cigarette Smoking Man




O G-Woman
...sung by Mulder to Scully to the tune of "O Christmas Tree"

O G-Woman, O G-Woman
However red your hair is

O G-Woman, O G-Woman
However red your hair is

Your need for me at any time
Is second never but to mine

O G-Woman, O G-Woman
However red your hair is

Such joy to me you now do bring
And someday we will have a fling

O G-Woman, O G-Woman
you are so very pleasing
Tags: .filk, christmas, fandom: xfiles
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