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Fic: Mail Call (NCIS)

Title: Mail Call
Author: kaylashay
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: I'm not Bellesario or CBS, so I don't claim to own them.
Genre: Pre-Slash
Characters: Tony
Word Count: 1,000
Setting: Post- Judgment Day
Beta: avamclean
Note: Title of M*A*S*H episode 02x23 inspired this fic...

Series: Letters to Home

Crossposted: ncisfanfic; ncis_fic; ncis_slash; gibbs_dinozzo

Summary: It took some time to write, but he finally found the words he wanted to say.

Hey Boss,

Abby’s been keeping tabs on you for me. Just don’t withhold her Cafpow because of it, or you’ll never get a moment’s peace. She had good intentions.

I know we never talk, so I’m not really sure why I’m going to try talking to you now. Probably helps that there’s several thousands miles between us and I’m not doing this face to face. I don’t know I’d ever be able to do this face to face.

I should probably be comparing this to a movie right now, but I can’t really think of one. Did you know McGee sent me several DVDs loaded with movie files for my laptop? Guess I’ll have to thank the Probie one day. He even managed to pick some good ones. And-

And I just gave myself a head slap for you. I guess writing this out is just as hard as trying to talk to you in person. This is my fourth attempt by the way. I started the moment I got to my bunk that first night. It just keeps coming out wrong and sometimes too much that I don't want anyone else to potentially see. Those bits are now shredded to little pieces and placed in separate trashcans around the ship. Maybe I'll tell you one day. Who knows.

I'm still avoiding the subject. I guess I'm good at that. Deflection is my one talent. Of course I never managed to deflect you much. You've always known what I was up to. I think you even knew I was in over my head with Jeanne. You don't know how many times I wanted to tell you. But you weren't "right" when you came back from Mexico and by the time you were back to normal, it was too late.

Of course, just as I was getting my head straight, she had to accuse me of killing her father. I know who was really behind it boss. I may not be a McGeek, but I know. And I bet there's some evidence out there somewhere. But I guess it's a moot point now. (Ha! Bet you didn't know I could use words like moot.)

I know how you feel about apologies, boss, but I owe you one. I'm sorry for what happened to Jenny. I was the lead agent on her protection detail. Orders be damned, I shouldn't have left her alone. I- I didn't want to get tangled in another of her messes. I guess it was that self-preservation kicking in that always had me running from one city to the next.

If Vance hadn't have sent me out to this damn ship, I probably would have left. Was that too blunt?

There's been too much boss… Kate, you leaving, Jeanne… Jenny was the last straw. I don't even know how to act around any of you anymore. You especially.

Before Mexico, before Kate really, it was easy. You were the boss and I followed while you led. Then it started to even out. I didn't need to follow as much and when you left, well, I found out I could lead. It was hard at first. The others- well, I wasn't you and they didn't really know me, still don't. I couldn't be the Tony they knew and still lead the team. But I also couldn't be who I wanted to be. They wouldn't listen to me.

Did you know Jenny offered me my own team? In Spain. I thought about running then. You were back and I was pushed away without a thank you. But I couldn't leave. Not then.

I was worried for you back then, boss. Truth is, I'm still worried for you. I'm not one to talk about my past (at least what really happened), but at least you know the highlights about my family. Nobody, not even Ducky, knew about your first wife and daughter. God, Gibbs… how could you keep something like that and not fall apart?

You told me back when I first started for you that your door was always open. It took a while, but I used it. And not just for a place to sleep. I talked to you boss. I told you things that I've never told another person. I never trusted anyone else to know what I let you know.

You can trust me boss. I know what Jenny meant to you and I know it hurt you when I answered that phone. I can't even begin to imagine what your wife and daughter meant to you. I never had a family like that, so I can't comprehend what it would be like to lose one.

Maybe this letter writing is making me bolder, but I think you need to talk about them. Remember them. I do that with Abby sometimes about Kate. We'll get together one night with a few drinks and some movies and end up talking about Kate all night. Hurts like hell, but we feel better afterwards. We did that about you when you were in Mexico too.

I still haven't said half of what I want to say to you Gibbs, but if I start that then I'll have to shred another letter. We need to talk. Once I come home, we're going to get some extra bourbon and go to that damn basement of yours and talk about some things. We're going to need to start with that first time I stayed over and work our way forward.

You remember how I said I wasn't ready. I think KNOW I am. I have been for a long time, but the timing was never right. I'll understand if you aren't anymore. I made you wait too damn long. And hell, you might not even remember after that damn explosion. I hope that's not the case.

Jethro… take care of yourself. I think there's more behind the split up than Vance marking his territory. Give Abby a hug for me.

Miss yah…


( 47 Campfires — Leave a Comment )
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Jul. 3rd, 2009 02:48 am (UTC)
I loved how he called him "Jethro" at the end...not Boss...not Gibbs...JETHRO. Tony has many special roles in his life...underling to Gibbs, the son Gibbs never had...and also friend. Sometimes that friend role is lost in the shuffle.

Great work!
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:03 am (UTC)
Thanks. :-)

I debated on the Jethro part but Tony decided he wanted to use it. :-)

They are friends and that is very underplayed on the show.
(no subject) - justjeanette - Jul. 20th, 2009 06:25 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:00 am (UTC)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:03 am (UTC)
Hee! Thanks... I'm just happy Tony let me peek at his letter to Gibbs. :-)
(no subject) - kateri_e - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:05 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:07 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kateri_e - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:12 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:17 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kateri_e - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:22 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - onlyonechoice - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:29 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:31 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:01 am (UTC)
This was totally Tony's voice for me. He covered everything and I love how you had him raise the subject of that first time he stayed at Gibbs' house. This is sad but at the same time I feel hopeful about everything because of how Tony's bringing up the things that need to be brought up. Thanks! Christina
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:04 am (UTC)
This was totally Tony's voice for me.

Yay! That's what I'm always going for when I write. :-)

There is hope in this letter.
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:05 am (UTC)

Miss yah…


Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:19 am (UTC)
Thanks! Of course he misses the boss. *hugs Tony*
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:13 am (UTC)
This is lovely stuff - I don't comment enough about your work, but I've loved everything you've posted lately, and look forward to seeing your name on a new fic post.
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:20 am (UTC)
...but I've loved everything you've posted lately, and look forward to seeing your name on a new fic post.

Awww... Thanks! *big grin*

Glad you are enjoying it all! :-)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:17 am (UTC)
You've got Tony spot on here. I just love it. I really like that Tony says that he probably would have left if he didn't get the sea duty - it makes total sense that he would cut and run at that point... but I don't like the idea that Vance did something *right* there! Agh!
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:21 am (UTC)
Yay for spot on Tony!

I know... I really think he would have had Vance not sent him away. So Vance did do the right thing... I think his execution just needs some work.

Grr Argh!

(no subject) - sasha1600 - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:33 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:37 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:19 am (UTC)
Yeah! I love that Tony was the one who wasn't ready... and now he is. And now we know why Gibbs was grinning after getting the letter from Abby. :-)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:22 am (UTC)

Yup. Gibbs is all happy because he does remember and he knows that Tony is ready for him now. :-)

Tony not being the one ready was a sudden thing that happened, but it just fit.
(no subject) - tejas - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:24 am (UTC) - Expand
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:22 am (UTC)
Oh, this was great!

It was so very Tony - and serious Tony at that, which is always nice. And I love that you put in that little reference to the first time Tony stayed with Gibbs, and you hinted at what might have gone on. That made me smile.

When Tony started talking about Shannon and Kelly and Kate, I started tearing up. I also enjoyed the insight into his friendship with Gibbs - that gets glossed over too much in the show. They should take a couple leafs out of your book! :D
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:26 am (UTC)

I do love me some serious Tony.

I would love to see more about the friendship they have. They've worked together for 8 or so years (minus 4 months in Mexico and 4 months at sea) darnit... they need something more than what they give us to show that.
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:31 am (UTC)
That was lovely.

It was very telling that Tony acknowledges that the team wouldn't follow him when Gibbs was in Mexico because they didn't know him, and that they were unwilling to get to know a new Tony. I always thought that was very sad.

I hope Gibbs listens to Tony and starts talking about his family.

Actually, I hope Tony sends the letter instead of just writing it for his own sake.

How many cookies will it take to bribe you into writing Gibbs' reaction?

Thanks for sharing! Happy writing!

Tabee :)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:36 am (UTC)


Tony did send this letter. This is actually the 2nd in a series of letters. It started with him and Abby writing back and forth here: http://kaylashay81.livejournal.com/107772.html

And it won't take much to get Gibbs' written response... it will be next. :-)
(no subject) - novalinx - Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:56 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Jul. 3rd, 2009 05:23 am (UTC) - Expand
(Deleted comment)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 06:02 pm (UTC)
Thanks! There are so many possibilities with those two it's mind boggling. :-)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 08:28 am (UTC)
wow - loved the Letters series, I loved reading the postcards between Tony and Abby. But if I am honest, I have to say this letter to Gibbs was great!! Teary, sad but sweet all at the same time.

I have to agree, Tony and Gibbs' friendship is not explored enough in the show. That is sad. :-( I look forward to Gibbs' response pretty soon. :-D

Jul. 3rd, 2009 06:03 pm (UTC)
Thanks! I enjoyed writing this letter. And yes, their friendship needs more exploration on the show.

And Gibbs' response is now posted. :-)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 11:13 am (UTC)
Thanks for this Tony letter...thank Tony for me too. hehe

Looking forward to Gibbs reply soon. :)
I could just just imagine:
"Glad you've realised things. I'll have the bourbon ready. Working on getting you back, Abs is always doing good work. Why would i hold her caf-pows at bay? Missing you, G."
He can summarise in a paragraph what it takes Tony a page to write. ;)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 06:04 pm (UTC)
Gibbs' response was short and sweet and to the point. :-)

Worked perfectly for a drabble challenge. :-)

Glad you enjoyed Tony's letter. :-)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 12:30 pm (UTC)
*whimpers* We ask, and you deliver. So good. *hugs it tight* Oh, Tony.
Jul. 3rd, 2009 06:04 pm (UTC)
Yeah... Tony is in serious need of some hugs on that ship. Too bad no one is around to give them.

Jul. 3rd, 2009 02:39 pm (UTC)
Thanks for writing this. Very Tony, very touching and something to look forward to for Gibbs. ;)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 06:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks! And Gibbs' response is posted now. :-)
Jul. 3rd, 2009 03:34 pm (UTC)

Jul. 3rd, 2009 06:05 pm (UTC)
Thanks! :-)
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