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Fic: Choose Your Team (NCIS)

Title: Choose Your Team
Author: kaylashay
Rating: FR21
Disclaimer: I'm not Bellesario or CBS, so I don't claim to own them.
Genre: Slash; Humor
Pairing: Gibbs/DiNozzo
Warning: Male/Male
Spoilers: Post - 07x13 Jetlag
Word Count: 889
Beta: azraelz_angel

Crossposted: ncisfanfic; ncis_fic; gibbs_dinozzo; ncis_slash

Summary: Tony gives Gibbs a little lesson in Twilight 101, but just who is teaching whom?
Gibbs shifted on the couch in an attempt to get comfortable. Ever since the car slammed into him, comfortable was the furthest thing from his mind. Thinking he had finally found a 'safe' position, Gibbs settled in only to give a manly grunt when he felt the hard ridge of something dig into his thigh.

Yanking the obtrusive item from between his body and the cushion, he gave snort when he saw the cover. Then, without looking at his target, he chucked the book across the room and smirked when he heard a double thud followed by a series of curses.

"That was hardcover in case you didn't notice, Gibbs," Tony's disgruntled voice sounded as the man moved to join Gibbs on the couch. "What'd I do this time?"

"You didn't do a damn thing. The book was the one annoying me. Don't even know why you read that crap."

Tony flopped onto the couch and then sprawled his large frame across the cushions until his head was resting on Gibbs' lap and he was staring up at the older man. Gibbs' hand from his uninjured arm drifted down and began petting through Tony's hair with practiced ease.

"I read that crap so the next time we have a distraught teenage girl saying she wants Edward to come and take her away because being a vampire is better than being molested by her father, I'll understand what the hell she's talking about. Plus, I like seeing what the authors get wrong."

"Thought it was a vampire book. You know something I don't?" Gibbs' hand stopped and gripped Tony's hair, tipping his head back a bit to bare his throat.

"Team Jacob," Tony said quickly. "There're werewolves too. Hot, young Native American boys that get all hot and aggressive and, as a rule, strongly dislike vampires. Maybe that's why I had vampire nightmares when I was a kid," Tony added with a thoughtful look.

"That girl said she was on Team Edward. What's the difference?" Gibbs asked as he resumed his petting.

"Team Edward is the sparkly vampires while Team Jacob is the hot werewolves. Told Ziva I was on Team Edward," Tony finished with a teasing smirk toward Gibbs.

"Really?" Gibbs questioned as he tightened his fingers again. "You'd pick a sparkling vampire over a hot werewolf?"

"Depends. Maybe I need a sampling just to be sure."

As he spoke, Tony's hand drifted down his own body and came to rest over his jean-covered cock. He put pressure on it and let out a groan as it started to fill out.

"Know any hot werewolves that might be able to sway me onto Team Jacob?"

Gibbs gave a low growl in his throat and leaned down to bite the juncture of Tony's neck and throat. When the teeth sank into his flesh, Tony bucked his hips off the couch, desperately wishing for some kind of friction against his trapped cock.

Then, with unnatural speed, Tony found himself flipped and draped over the back of the couch. Gibbs' good hand was working the button and zipper of his jeans and Tony could only moan and let his head drop to the back of the couch.

"Hard and fast," Tony whispered. "Hated being out of the country without you and don't stick me with Ziva again, Boss," he ground out as he felt Gibbs' finger slip into his body.

"Good boy," Gibbs breathed into the back of Tony's neck as he discovered that Tony had prepped himself before he arrived at Gibbs' house. "Guess you can be trained."

Without hesitation, Gibbs sank his hard cock into Tony's waiting body and they both cried out at the sudden connection after several days apart. Gibbs only paused for a moment before he pulled back and began fucking Tony's eager hole in earnest.

Tony's body moved backwards as Gibbs' thrust forward in perfect sync with each other. The sounds of their heavy breathing and moans were mixed with the slap of Gibbs' skin against Tony's. Tony kept inching his legs further apart to give Gibbs more access, while Gibbs wrapped his good arm around Tony's torso.

Tony cried out and tipped his head back when Gibbs' hand pinched one of his nipples tightly, twisting it slightly.

"God!" and "Gibbs!" were the only coherent words spilling from the garbled litany spewing forth from Tony's mouth.

"Mine," Gibbs all but growled as he leaned forward and captured Tony's neck within his mouth in a fierce hold.

"Yours, Boss. Only yours!" Tony cried out in time with Gibbs' final thrust into his body.

They stayed that way on the couch for several minutes, neither ready to break the intimate connection. Then, gradually, Gibbs released Tony's throat and gently slid out of his body.

With a few twists, they landed back in their original positions on the couch, Tony's sated eyes looking up towards Gibbs.

"So," Gibbs drawled out. "Sparkly vampires or hot werewolves?"

"Until I find a sparkly vampire for comparison, I'll take the hot werewolves for a thousand Alex."

Gibbs trailed his fingers over the vivid bruise marking Tony as his. "Tony. If you find a sparkly vampire to fuck you, you'll find out what us aggressive, hot werewolves do to damn vampires that sparkle. Clear?"

"Crystal, Boss. New rule. No sparkling vampires on the menu."

End Note: I really disliked the episode and for more than just the Tony/Ziva heavy-handness. They left their witness alone on multiple occasions and then wondered how someone had gotten to her for God-sakes! The other thing that bothered me was Tony saying he was Team Edward when he admitted way back when that he had nightmares of vampires as a child. So this little fic was born when I began to think about what werewolf alpha Gibbs would think in regards to Tony rooting for a sparkling vampire over their own kind. Hope you enjoyed.

P.S.: There is a new banner in my header rotation. Have you seen it?


( 32 Campfires — Leave a Comment )
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Feb. 1st, 2010 02:37 am (UTC)
Should I say woof-woof, or growl - growl? Seriously though I loved this bit of humour at 3.30 in the morning stuck between a text on rolling stock and another on machine-tooling. I'd even howl my approval but it might just start my GS off and I don't think the neighbours would be too pleased
Feb. 1st, 2010 02:45 am (UTC)
Hee! Glad you loved it! Howling is best left for wide open spaces and full moons. ;-)
(no subject) - ferneberga - Feb. 1st, 2010 03:01 am (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 1st, 2010 02:42 am (UTC)
OMG - perfect tag! *dies laughing*

You know, at first I thought, "Well, maybe Tony's Team Edward because he found out that Gibbs is a vampire, and Gibbs introduced him to lots of hot gay vampire sex, and he decided that vampires aren't all that bad (unless they sparkle)."

But I like your idea of Gibbs trying to "sway" Tony into thinking that hot werewolves were better. *shifty*

I loved this - it was hilarious and deliciously hot. I'm pretending that this actually happened after the episode ended. *whistles*

And re the banner: I SEE IT! I had to refresh your page a bajillion times to finally get to it. It got stuck on SG-1 for like, six rotations. And then it got stuck on Supernatural. I was not amused. But then I saw the banner, and was like "SQUEEEEE!"

It was worth it. *g*
Feb. 1st, 2010 02:51 am (UTC)

When Tony said he was Team Edward, I was all Luke Skywalker shouting, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!"

Then I got to thinking. Perhaps he was deflecting. He couldn't publicly side with werewolves when he is a werewolf who is trying to maintain his secret and the secret of all the other werewolves (his boss/alpha/mate included), right? :-)

So here's Gibbs all 'I have my little wolf curled up where he belongs and.... wait... what the hell is he saying about vampires?! Better show him who's in charge. Again.'

And Tony's all, '*doing the happy dance* My plan worked. Little does the boss know how twisted around my finger I have him. *pause* Or is he? *stares at knowing smirk on Gibbs' face*'


And yay for the banner! It actually came up on the first go around for me after I uploaded it. Darn SG1 and SPN for getting your way. I got stuck on a Terminator loop earlier.
(no subject) - spoonyriffic - Feb. 1st, 2010 03:42 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Feb. 2nd, 2010 02:56 am (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 1st, 2010 03:10 am (UTC)
I'm not FULLY in the Twilight fnadom (mock the concepts, read the parodies, watched and mocked the movie last night). From merely being around the internet, I knew about as much as Tony did. I have a feeling he may have just said it as a distraction means.

Sweet fic, though. <3
Feb. 1st, 2010 03:15 am (UTC)
Thanks! :-)

Yeah... what I know from Twilight was the fact that I had to take my aunt (who loves the series and the movies and no one takes her to the movies since she has health issues and doesn't drive so it falls on me to do it).

But I'd take the hot werewolf any day of the week. :-)

Now I have this picture of Tony tucked away in the back corner of the theater surrounded by tween girls just to watch the movie. Hee!
(no subject) - sailorangei - Feb. 1st, 2010 03:17 am (UTC) - Expand
Feb. 1st, 2010 03:23 am (UTC)
Nice psych out -- loved his real reason for reading it -- to understand victims better and his underhanded reason for siding with Edward, at least until proven wrong.

Great misdirect with all the biting (biting is never a bad thing)

Pun-tastic title

Great fun! (just like your NCIS banner)
Feb. 2nd, 2010 02:57 am (UTC)
Biting = Good (especially when Gibbs/DiNozzo)

Yay! Glad you enjoyed! :-)
Feb. 1st, 2010 03:40 am (UTC)
*snorfle* Oh that is just great. That is a beautiful interpretation of that awful line. Who knows what on earth they were thinking in the writers room.

Love the new header too, by the way. Completely adore it.
Feb. 2nd, 2010 02:58 am (UTC)
I know... Team Edward? Really? At least it momentarily distracted me from shouting at the TV about how they kept leaving their witness alone.
Feb. 1st, 2010 04:22 am (UTC)
Loved this. The whole Twilight thing made no sense to me either ;)
Feb. 2nd, 2010 03:01 am (UTC)
Twilight was beyond random in NCIS. If anyone would have mentioned it, Jimmy or Abby would have been the most believable. Or maybe even at a stretch Ziva who watched it while trying to grasp the crazy thing that is the American young woman who ooo's and ahhh's over starcrossed lover teen themed movies... *shrugs* Or they're just plain stupid. ;-)

Glad you enjoyed!
Feb. 1st, 2010 04:34 am (UTC)
I loved this!
Feb. 2nd, 2010 03:01 am (UTC)
Feb. 1st, 2010 07:31 am (UTC)
Ah yes... *leans back with happy sigh*

The whole Team Edward thing made me go WTF as well. Continuity, people? Especially after they showed how good they actually are at paying attention to detail during the ep before, ya know? (adore the brilliantistic new header, btw!!!)

So, your fic makes much sense and explains the awefulness that was this scene!

Besides, hot gay lurve ain't bad either. *g*
Feb. 1st, 2010 09:18 am (UTC)
Ow wow - love the banner! And if Tony had read those books at all I'd be astonished, but I'm positive he wouldn't be into sparkly vampires if he did! LOL! This is a man who is into *Gibbs*! I think he'd prefer his vampires just a bit more macho *g*. So your version is much better than the crappy ep ;-)
Feb. 1st, 2010 10:23 am (UTC)
*that ep* has gone down as one of the worst from what I've read all over the place (only half way through S6 here in UK - and its an ep that's already on my *don't bother to watch list*)...not least for lack of attention to detail and all the *barfs* TIVA crap...*barfs again*...BUT..this little ficlet - as always - was funny, cute as hell with a heavy dollop of sheer HOTNESS!! Nice one...;)
Feb. 1st, 2010 11:42 am (UTC)
Fic: Choose Your Team (NCIS)
Love this fic *O*!!! Gwah!!! Now I can remember this episode for something good. I'm not a Twilight fan at all, and I love your reason why Tony read the book *nod*.
Feb. 1st, 2010 11:51 am (UTC)
Thank you so much for this great episode tag - love it :-D !!!

You know, there was just so much wrong with "Jetlag" I almost didn't regiister my annoyance over the Twilight reference.

I was too busy going all 'OMG, how fucking stupid are these writers, and where the hell is the plot! Jesus! This episode makes no sense! It can't be the boyfriend, surely. I mean come on! This is soooo bad! I could never get away with such shoddy construction in High School English and I was a hormonal teenage girl overly fond of purple prose! Wait...Did Tony just say he was reading Twilight? Team Edward!?! WTF!!! This episode is written by hormonal teenage girls!'

So great tag Kaylashay! Because if Tony did read this book he would totally be team Jacob, because *sparkly* vampires? - no, just no. And Gibbs would totally headsmack that right out of him.

I like the motivation you give him for reading the book as well. I don't really see him reading the book otherwise. Maybe back in season 1 he would have skimmed it for hook-up material when going out for dates, but now his character is very different, and this explanation is the only one I can accept ;-).

Also, I just can't resist were!fic (or implied!were!fic as it were :-D)
Feb. 1st, 2010 12:35 pm (UTC)
All I have to say is Team Gibbs! :)

The banner is shiny and this fic is kick butt. Mmmm hot werewolf sex. Woot!
Feb. 1st, 2010 01:08 pm (UTC)
Wow - I just loved this fic! Awesome! :)
Feb. 1st, 2010 05:10 pm (UTC)
LOL! Hilarious and yet oh so hot! Alpha!Gibbs!
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