Disclaimer: I'm not Bellesario or CBS, so I don't claim to own them.
Genre: Crack!Fic; Pre-Slash
Word Count: 455
Blame: Blame for this rests solely on sinfulslasher who posted the picture that I have below the fic that prompted the crack!fic bunny to strike. You've been warned.
Crossposted: ncisfanfic; ncis_fic; gibbs_dinozzo; ncis_slash
Summary: Torture can take many forms.
"This is all your fault, Boss. I said Johnson was one kinky bastard and started to give examples, but you just head slapped and gave me that 'shut the hell up, DiNozzo' look of yours. Now look where we are."
As he spoke, Tony had his head twisted at an angle so he could look up at the cage swaying next to him. The cage held a very angry looking Gibbs. Although, Tony admitted to himself, Gibbs looks extremely hot swinging there. Dangerous, but hot.
"You know," Tony spoke up again for lack of anything better to do, "there's probably some medical reason I shouldn't be hanging upside like this. I mean with all the head slaps you give me, it's got to be bad for my health. Right? And if this was any other situation, I'd probably find it kind of fun. How about you, Boss? Cages and cuffs work for you?"
Tony glanced back up and found that patented look glaring back at him.
"I know what you're thinking, Boss. 'Shut the hell up, DiNozzo, because you're just making the lack of coffee worse for me and if I wasn't in this damn cage, I'd make use of your current position in ways you probably wouldn't like.' Close enough?"
Gibbs grunted and Tony took it as an affirmative. Then he finally did shut up as the door opened to reveal Johnson. The man was dressed in black leather with a chest harness device that did not look flattering on his heavy frame. He was pulling some kind of equipment behind him that Tony couldn't quite figure out.
Tony continued to watch in silence, the same as Gibbs, as the man began setting up the equipment, including a sign over the stage are they had assumed was used for torturing the victims.
Slowly, realization dawned on Tony and he cast a puzzled glance at Gibbs who, for a change, looked just as confused.
Suddenly a loud reverberating sound echoed through the stone room as the mic was turned on and a feedback loop occurred. Tony fought at his cuffs, but could not cover his ears to escape the sound.
Eventually it died down and Johnson spoke into the mic with his strangely high-pitched and grainy voice.
"Welcome to Johnson's Karaoke Night! It's only the best of the best and I'm sure you'll enjoy the festivities! Now let's start off with a classic..."
As Johnson began to sing, Tony looked up helplessly at Gibbs. Gibbs just banged his head against the cage and spoke softly so as not to anger Johnson by interrupting his performance.
"That thing you said I was thinking? I was wrong in what I was thinking. Things can get worse, DiNozzo."