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Title: Finding the Spirit: The Past (3/3)
Author: kaylashay
Author's Notes: Written for tibbs_yuletide Day 24
Warnings: Slash; Sex
Spoilers: Set in Season 8; However, no overt spoilers for the season.
Characters / Pairings: Gibbs/DiNozzo; past Gibbs/Shannon
Rating: FR18
Genre / Category: Slash; Angst; Romance
Word Count: 1,188 (part 3) / TBA (total)
Disclaimer: I'm not Bellesario or CBS, so I don't claim to own them.
Beta: azraelz_angel (will be when she gets a chance)
Summary: Gibbs spends a night with three visitors to find the Christmas spirit buried deep within him.

Click the Image for a Larger View
Part 01 | Part 02 | Part 03 | Epilogue

“Kate!” Gibbs called out to the silent room. “Get your ass back here!” When she didn’t appear, Gibbs began pacing the floor, rubbing his hand through his hair.

“Damn it, DiNozzo,” he muttered to himself. “Why? You know I’m a bastard. But leaving…”

Gibbs stopped, dread filling his stomach. “You can’t leave me, Tony. Won’t let you,” he said with hurt conviction.

Then a light glow from across the room had Gibbs looking up. The glow slowly coalesced into a small childlike form. The body was draped in a shimmering white cloak and the back was turned toward Gibbs.

Something inside drew him to the spirit in front of him, but he took no steps to approach it. Instead, he watched in fascination as a hand appeared from the cloak and was held out in his direction. With a twinge of fear and sense of longing, he went forward and took the small within his own.

A light tug had him following the spirit up the stairs and he was able to find his voice.

“What… Who are you?”

But nothing was said. He felt the small hand squeeze his and continue to lead him upwards. At the top, the door opened and Gibbs found himself inside a funeral home with a closed casket in front of him.

The sight knocked the wind out of him. “No,” he said shaking his head. “No one’s gonna die. Not on my watch,” he ground out as he tried to wrench his hand free.

But he was held firm by the spirit. Moments later, people began to filter inside. He looked up to see Abby, Ducky and McGee, along with some man in a suit.

Abby had tears in her eyes as McGee kept a consoling arm around her shoulders. He wanted to go over and wrap her in a hug, then kiss her on the cheek and tell her it would all be alright. However, the spirit kept him in place.

“I can’t believe he’s gone,” Abby’s broken voice filled the small room. “He was never supposed to die!”

“My dear,” Ducky was saying as he laid a hand along side her face. “He’s in a better place now.”

“But he was supposed to be here with us,” Abby said, still sobbing.

Gibbs mind was turning. Ziva, Tony and himself were not present. Since they were referring to the deceased as a him, it wasn’t Ziva. That left Tony and himself and neither were an option he wanted to consider.

“Was Ziva going to make it?” McGee asked softly.

“No,” Ducky replied. “Her father assured Director Vance that she was told of his death, however, she is on an assignment from which she could not depart.”

So Ziva was still alive, but was no longer with NCIS. The world had changed in whatever future this was, and Gibbs did not like it.

“What about Tony?” Abby sniffed out and Gibbs felt his heart swell. Tony was alive, that’s all that mattered.

But then Ducky and McGee shared a look that told Gibbs he might not want to hear anymore.

“Take me home,” he demanded of the spirit. “I’ve seen enough. I need-“

“I called him,” McGee’s voice had him pausing in his demands. “But- This is his words, not mine. He said to let the bastard rot in hell.”

“Gibbs ruined it all,” Abby said brokenly. “He ran Tony off and then everything fell apart.”

“I know,” McGee said as he pulled her into a full hug. “But at least Tony’s got a better life now. He’s making a name for himself at the FBI. Heard rumors that the BAU is looking into him.”

“We should say goodbye and get out of here,” Abby said with a sniff. “I don’t think I can handle this anymore.”

“Come along then,” Ducky said and the room faded around Gibbs.

“What the hell!?” Gibbs shouted. “Take me back. Tony can’t leave and definitely not for the FBI. He’s mine and I won’t let him go.”

The spirit just kept the firm grip on his hand and tugged him forward. Gibbs took in his surroundings and noticed that he was in a cemetery, with row upon row of gravestones.

“I’ve seen enough,” he heard himself saying. “Take me back.” But they kept moving forward until they reached two gravestones, one with freshly disturbed dirt.

Mesmerized, he knelt down and brushed the snow off to reveal the names. The first stone had him drawing in a sharp breath. It was Shannon and Kelly’s stone.

“Why show me all this? I know I can’t have them back, but why?” he asked as he glanced up at the shrouded spirit.

No response was given except for the pointed finger at the next gravestone. So, with a trembling hand, Gibbs brushed the snow off.

In shock, he stared at his own name etched in the stone. “It was me,” he said softly.

“Yeah, Boss,” Tony’s voice startled him. The other man was walking through the snow and had a bottle of bourbon in his hand. “Figured you’d need your Christmas present where you were going, bastard. Told the others I wouldn’t come, but had to come anyway. Needed to get a few things off my chest.”

Tony was kneeling right next Gibbs and he wanted to pull the other man to him and tell him he was sorry, but he couldn’t, not like this.

“Get me out of here,” he pleaded. “Let me make this right.”

“When I left, I thought you’d come get me back, tell me everything I wanted to hear, but you never did. I waited for a year, Gibbs, a year. But I’ve moved on. Got a great job and boss that doesn’t head slap every time I’m not looking. And there’s this guy named Derek. Well, anyway, just wanted to tell you to have a great trip to hell and enjoy the bourbon.”

Gibbs watched in pain as Tony poured the bottle out over his grave and then toss the empty bottle to ground. Then Tony walked away and Gibbs tried to run after him.

The hand stopped him and he turned in anguish to the spirit.

“Let me go. I’ve got to make it up to him. I’ve got to tell him I love him!”

He was suddenly in the basement and the small arms of the spirit were wrapped around him in a tight hug. He found himself hugging the spirit back, feeling more content than he had since the deaths of his wife and daughter. He also felt a sense of anticipation for what was to come. He knew that Tony would be with him for a long time, he’d make sure of that.

“I’ve got it now,” he said softly to the spirit. “I’ll fix it.”

The spirit pulled back from the hug and looked into his face. The hood of the cloak tipped and Gibbs found himself staring into the eyes of Kelly. With tears falling, he pulled her back in for another tight hug.

“Thanks, Kel. I’ll make it right. I promise,” and then she was gone.
Part 01 | Part 02 | Part 03 | Epilogue

Epilogue to be posted right after this...


( 8 Campfires — Leave a Comment )
Dec. 25th, 2010 08:41 am (UTC)
Oh my! This is so good! What a horrible wake up call for Gibbs but he needed it. Tony pouring the bourbon on his grave was perfect. And telling him that he's found a kind of happiness without him. Can't wait for the epilogue now!!!

PS Think that should be "fix it" at the end there and not just "fix".

Dec. 25th, 2010 03:16 pm (UTC)
Thanks! Kelly was the first spirit I thought of and I was so excited when I found that picture I used in the manip via a google search. And the bourbon came out of nowhere as I was writing, but it worked. Glad future!Tony thought of it.

And thanks for the typo catch. I finished this at the last minute so my beta didn't have time to tweak it. :-)

Merry Christmas!
Dec. 25th, 2010 10:19 am (UTC)
Oh man, am I glad that you decided to write an epilogue, because honestly? I would've had to hunt you down and Gibbsslap you next week for leaving it like that! LOL!

Man, this was intense and heart-breaking. What a wake up call. We all know that Gibbs is a grade A bastard, but this was a reaction not only he predicted. In a way, I'm glad to see that Tony can manage on his own, without Gibbs, and have a happy and fulfilled life, but on the other hand...WAAAH, want my boys to be together!!! LOL!

(Btw, "since of anticipation" should be "sense of anticipation"...)
Dec. 25th, 2010 03:18 pm (UTC)
I actually wrote the epilogue first and had to go back and add the rest to it. :-)

Yeah... Tony did move on, but he never did completely and everything else was out of whack because of it. So yay for Gibbs getting his spiritual wake up call.

And thanks for the typo catch. Last minute fic on Christmas Eve doesn't get beta-ed right away. :-)
Dec. 25th, 2010 10:48 pm (UTC)
Awww... *sniffle* Gibbs will make this right!
Dec. 26th, 2010 05:37 am (UTC)
It all worked out in the end as you know. :-)

Merry Christmas again!
Dec. 26th, 2010 06:32 am (UTC)
So good so far! I giggled with anticipation at the mention of the BAU (my two favorite shows) and then you mention Derek and I had a large smile on my face. Although Tony belongs with Gibbs more than Derek.
Dec. 28th, 2010 04:43 pm (UTC)
Awww, so that was the future if Gibbs didn't fix things...in this instance, I hate Gibbs for being a bastard!

And...omg...the ending with Kelly! That...that was heart-breaking!

(and I loved the small mention of the BAU & Derek! -smile-)
( 8 Campfires — Leave a Comment )

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