Disclaimer: I'm not USA / Jeff Eastin / etc., so I don't claim to own them.
Characters/Pairings: Peter/El, Psuedo-Peter/Neal
Genre: Het, Psuedo-Slash
Warnings: Voyeurism, Dub-Con, Role Play
Word Count: 1,264
Beta: a quickie by avamclean
Written For: run_the_con Porn Round Prompt "That's one way to do it," by citrinesunset
Prompt: Neal is bored and inadvertently discovers a new way of keeping inspired.
Neal had been bored for a few weeks. Somewhere along the way, trying to impress Kate enough with his exploits just wasn't doing it for him anymore. Ultimately, he wanted to see her again and be with her again, but his heart wasn't in the game. It was probably because she wasn't even acknowledging his attempts to woo her back.
With a sigh, he settled on the balcony outside his room. Unlike the luxury hotels he liked to con his way into, this place didn't have a view. But what it did have was the room rate that fell within an FBI agent's expense line.
Neal smiled as he slipped on the headphones that Moz had loaned him. At first, he was greeted with a blast of static that had him frantically turning the knob on the receiver. Finally the static receded and he was able to make out the sounds of a television. He was thankful the bug he had planted earlier in the day while disguised as housekeeping hadn't been discovered. Neal relaxed back against the chair and sipped his wine as he waited for something, anything to happen.
It took twenty minutes before something other than the Italian newscaster's scratchy voice came over the mike.
"Hey, Hon," Agent Burke's voice sounded tired, but happy in a way that Neal wasn't sure he'd ever felt.
He could only hear the one sided conversation as Burke talked to what Neal assumed was the man's wife. He called her El or Hon and just hearing the half conversation made Neal want to know more about the woman who was married to the man chasing him.
Neal had been so caught up in picturing the house with a picket fence, a dog and a few kids that Burke obviously had that he'd almost missed the man's question to his wife.
"What you wearing?"
Neal sat up straighter. He could hear the rustling of the bed and clothes and then a new voice sounded over his mike.
"Just a towel," her voice was light, yet it had a husky quality to it that immediately stirred Neal's cock. Peter had put his wife on speakerphone and Neal suddenly wished he had a picture of her.
"Want to take it off?" Burke asked and Neal's heart skipped a beat.
"Intercontinental phone sex, Peter? What's got into you?"
"Caffrey," hearing his name stole Neal's breath away. "He has me chasing him around the world while I'd rather be home with you."
Neal almost felt bad at that comment. But if it wasn't for Burke, he'd probably be bored enough to work with Keller again. And that was the last thing he wanted to happen.
"Liar," El said with a laugh. "I've seen that picture you have of him in that case file you stare at every night. I bet you're perfectly fine chasing after him."
"I do like them brunette and smart," Peter agreed and Neal dropped his hand to the tent of his robe.
"And don't forget leggy," El said. "Tell me what you'd do to Caffrey if you caught him right now at your hotel."
"I'd have to cuff him first and read him his rights," Peter huffed out and Neal heard the snap of a cap from a bottle of lube and his brain derailed.
"So the FBI's best just caught me," El's voice sounded deeper, like she was trying to imitate a man. "You can't pin anything on me, Agent Burke."
"That's where you're wrong Caffrey," Peter said with confidence. "Once we start this interrogation, I'll be able to pin anything I want on you."
Neal pulled his cock out from silk robe and looked frantically for something to use. He saw the bottle of tanning lotion he'd left out earlier in the day and grabbed for it. In the process, he knocked over his wine glass. He squirted some lotion on his hand and started rubbing. Over the headphones, he could hear Peter's hand sliding across his own cock.
"That why you have me pressed against this wall? Didn't know the FBI sanctioned this kind of handling."
"I'll handle you any way I want, Caffrey. I'm the one with the badge. Not to mention, you owe me."
"Owe you? I don't owe you anything."
"I missed my anniversary chasing your ass around the world. I think it's time I took a piece. How do you like me taking your pants off, Neal?"
Neal startled momentarily at his first name. He was breathing hard and his balls were aching in way they hadn't since Kate left him.
"How do you think I like it, Peter?" El's voice answered back and Neal closed his eyes letting the scene play out in his mind.
"Judging by this hard on you're sporting, you like me handling you. If I didn't have to keep you cuffed, I'd make you fuck yourself open for me with your own fingers. Instead my fingers and some spit will have to do. Now get on that table and spread them so I can conduct a full cavity search."
"Make me," El challenged back and Neal listened to them both breathe heavily in time with him as they all pictured the scenario.
Neal could see and feel Burke's hands on him, maneuvering him toward a metal table in a small room with one swinging bulb above the table. He grunted as he imagined the feel of the table's edge cutting across his hard cock. He grabbed a piece of ice from the bucket and held it against his nipple, pretending the cold was from the table's surface. Burke would have kicked out his legs, leaving his ass open for anything he wanted to do to it. Neal could practically feel Burke's dick against his ass as the man rubbed against him before grabbing a handful of hair and tilting his head up.
"Watch yourself in the mirror, Caffrey," Burke said.
"Yes, Sir," Neal said right along with El.
"Harder. Fuck. Yes. Right there. Almost. God!" Neal lost track of who said what in the litany that followed.
"Come for me, Caffrey!" and Neal did, biting back his shout while El let her own ring out loud and clear.
When Neal's senses returned, he was slumped, exhausted in the chair. He felt like he'd just come down from the highest high. Apparently, the same was true for the Burkes because they were just starting to talk again.
"Damn, El," Burke said. "If they FBI knew how I used my case subject…"
"They'd all be very shocked and never believe a word of it was true," El said sagely. "That was just what I needed to start my morning. Thanks, Hon."
"And it was just what I needed to end a frustrating day. Happy anniversary, El. I'll come home as soon as I can."
"Maybe one day I'll get to tell Mr. Caffrey exactly what I think about him."
"And what's that?" Neal waited for the answer with anticipation.
"That he's the best sex toy an agent's wife could ask for."
And Neal ripped the headphones of his ears as he almost fell out of his chair. He debated putting them back on, but he decided he owed the Burkes a little privacy. It was their anniversary after all.
No longer bored, Neal headed back into his room. He had a heist to plan and a 'happy anniversary' card to send to the Burkes. Who would have thought one way of snapping Neal out of his funk would involve Russian surplus and the Burkes sex life?