Disclaimer: I'm not Bellesario or CBS, so I don't claim to own them.
Word Count: 5 x 100
Challenge: ncis_drabble; Challenge #89 - Tired
SPOILERS: 05x18 Judgement Day
Crossposted: ncis_drabble; ncisfanfic; tonydinozzo
Summary: Tiredness can come from many sources...
He learned early in life to keep watch, but stay silent. If he allowed himself to fall asleep on nights that his father had one too many drinks in the study, he would regret it in the morning when he saw his mother’s bruised face. He learned to stay awake and watch his father. The slightest move the man made towards his mother would be interrupted by his “no good son”. His bruises were never as obvious as hers, but he could remember each and every one of them. His job as protector was tiring, but better him than her.
Once he was away from his father and the life he hated, he found a whole new reason to stay up at night. There were parties and college girls, many college girls. He felt the strain the next day as he struggled to make it to class or pushed himself on the field in practice. Apparently old habits died hard and his early life made him a night owl. He settled into a routine that involved little sleep, plenty of tiredness and loads of fun. College was the best days of his life until that football injury destroyed it all.
He became a cop. It wasn’t something he ever thought of before the injury, but after he chance for a pro career went to hell he had to find something to do. It was the excitement factor that called him to it. He never gave thought to all the other things it would entail. He saw things that disgusted him. He had partners that hated him on principle just because he came from money. Most of all, it was tiring. Thoughts of the people he couldn’t help, the ones that got away, the shit he saw; it was so tiring.
He thought he knew what working until you dropped was from all the cities he bounced to over the years, but he found himself in a whole new league with Leroy Jethro Gibbs. The man didn’t stop when he was on the job and he expected those around to keep up or get out of his way. He silently thanked his father in some macabre way for preparing him for sleepless nights at the hands of a bastard from an early age. He survived his father and Gibbs was a pushover compared to that. Strangely, he started to like it.
Seven years and he was finally beginning to feel burned out. Seven years of pushing himself to meet standards higher than anyone should expect him to reach. Things were out of hand and he was screwing up left and right. At first he thought it was a coincident, but the death of Jenny on the back of the fiasco with Jeanne was the sign he needed. He was tired and making stupid, rookie mistakes. He knew he should just quit instead of going to the Reagan. But tired as he was, he didn’t want Gibbs’ disappointment. He couldn’t quit NCIS.