Disclaimer: I'm not Bellesario or CBS, so I don't claim to own them.
Genre: Het & Slash
Pairings: Gibbs/Shannon (past); Gibbs/DiNozzo (present)
Word Count: 5 x 100
Spoilers: 05x07 Requiem
Challenge: ncis_drabble; Five Past Challenges
#8 Love Story Without Using the Word Love
#86 Too Late
Prompt: "5 things Gibbs never told Shannon or Tony" by lil_jei
Crossposted: ncis_drabble; ncisfanfic; gibbs_dinozzo; gibbsbasement
Summary: Gibbs was not a talkative man. He let his actions speak louder than words.
No matter how much he felt it within his heart and his entire being, he was never able to say those three little words to either of them. Shannon never asked him, even with a look. She just smiled, kissed him and said, “I know.” She had understood without being told that he was unable to voice his feelings. With Tony, it was harder. Tony had never had anyone say the words to him and mean them. So it was a challenge to show Tony every day what he felt for him even if he couldn’t say those three words.
He knew that he had fallen for DiNozzo the day he caught himself watching the younger agent sleep at his desk in the middle of long and hard case. The last time he had been so enthralled by a sleeping person it had been Shannon. Anytime he saw her curled up with her eyes closed, he would watch over her, not missing one breath. Kelly had known his secret with Shannon because she would curl up and watch her too. It was the same with Tony. He made sure no one ever caught him looking at Tony on those occasions.
He liked to be held. It was a closely guarded secret and the only person he had ever told had been his mother. Somehow, only weeks into their relationship, Shannon had discovered his secret without him ever saying a word. At seemingly random times, she would reach over and pull him into a tight embrace. After her, he figured he would never have that again. Then, just weeks into their “not a” relationship, Tony starting pulling him into half hugs. His personal favorite was when Tony would come up behind him in the basement and pull him against his chest.
Rule 50. He had told Kate there were about fifty rules, but he never voiced number fifty out loud. Shannon had kept her own set of rules that always made him smile to think of them. Over the years, he had made his own to keep himself and those he cared for safe. However, Rule 50 was a special one and it was also one he had broken many times. Keep the ones you love safe. He had failed with Shannon and Kelly. He had failed with Kate. He had failed with so many others. He wouldn’t fail with Tony.
“Thank you,” had never really been part of his vocabulary. It seemed pointless to thank the people around you day in and day out for doing things they already knew you were grateful for. He could have told Shannon hundreds of times, “Thank you for loving me,” or “Thank you for giving me Kelly,” but he never did. With Tony, a pat to the head went so much further than words ever could. Tony didn’t need thanks for doing the job he was trained to do. But after Tony saved him, he realized it wasn’t too late to say, “Thanks.”