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Fic: Five Things Unsaid (NCIS)

Title: Five Things Unsaid
Author: kaylashay
Rating: FR13
Disclaimer: I'm not Bellesario or CBS, so I don't claim to own them.
Genre: Het & Slash
Pairings: Gibbs/Shannon (past); Gibbs/DiNozzo (present)
Word Count: 5 x 100
Spoilers: 05x07 Requiem
Beta: azraelz_angel
Challenge: ncis_drabble; Five Past Challenges
#8 Love Story Without Using the Word Love
#121 Reflections
#102 Secrets
#108 Duty
#86 Too Late

Prompt: "5 things Gibbs never told Shannon or Tony" by lil_jei

Crossposted: ncis_drabble; ncisfanfic; gibbs_dinozzo; gibbsbasement

Summary: Gibbs was not a talkative man. He let his actions speak louder than words.

No matter how much he felt it within his heart and his entire being, he was never able to say those three little words to either of them. Shannon never asked him, even with a look. She just smiled, kissed him and said, “I know.” She had understood without being told that he was unable to voice his feelings. With Tony, it was harder. Tony had never had anyone say the words to him and mean them. So it was a challenge to show Tony every day what he felt for him even if he couldn’t say those three words.

He knew that he had fallen for DiNozzo the day he caught himself watching the younger agent sleep at his desk in the middle of long and hard case. The last time he had been so enthralled by a sleeping person it had been Shannon. Anytime he saw her curled up with her eyes closed, he would watch over her, not missing one breath. Kelly had known his secret with Shannon because she would curl up and watch her too. It was the same with Tony. He made sure no one ever caught him looking at Tony on those occasions.

He liked to be held. It was a closely guarded secret and the only person he had ever told had been his mother. Somehow, only weeks into their relationship, Shannon had discovered his secret without him ever saying a word. At seemingly random times, she would reach over and pull him into a tight embrace. After her, he figured he would never have that again. Then, just weeks into their “not a” relationship, Tony starting pulling him into half hugs. His personal favorite was when Tony would come up behind him in the basement and pull him against his chest.

Rule 50. He had told Kate there were about fifty rules, but he never voiced number fifty out loud. Shannon had kept her own set of rules that always made him smile to think of them. Over the years, he had made his own to keep himself and those he cared for safe. However, Rule 50 was a special one and it was also one he had broken many times. Keep the ones you love safe. He had failed with Shannon and Kelly. He had failed with Kate. He had failed with so many others. He wouldn’t fail with Tony.

“Thank you,” had never really been part of his vocabulary. It seemed pointless to thank the people around you day in and day out for doing things they already knew you were grateful for. He could have told Shannon hundreds of times, “Thank you for loving me,” or “Thank you for giving me Kelly,” but he never did. With Tony, a pat to the head went so much further than words ever could. Tony didn’t need thanks for doing the job he was trained to do. But after Tony saved him, he realized it wasn’t too late to say, “Thanks.”

Comments

( 36 Campfires — Leave a Comment )
kateri_e
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:38 am (UTC)
Fantastic! Loved it
kaylashay
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:44 am (UTC)
Thanks!
(Anonymous)
Feb. 17th, 2009 04:15 am (UTC)
Loved this fic!

ShadowCat17
kaylashay
Feb. 17th, 2009 04:29 am (UTC)
Thanks!
lil_jei
Feb. 17th, 2009 06:05 am (UTC)
Oh I am so totally in a happy tizzy right now. As bittersweet and reflective of a fic that you wrote I love it. Yay! And your characterizations were spot on cuddly cute...just like I love.

And am I ever happy that I sat down and took the time to prompt someone :)
kaylashay
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:25 pm (UTC)
Yay! I'm glad you liked! I loved the prompt and started getting ideas for it as soon as I read it.

Thanks!
loopy2
Feb. 17th, 2009 07:01 am (UTC)
Wonderful
kaylashay
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:25 pm (UTC)
:-)

Thanks!
ferneberga
Feb. 17th, 2009 08:39 am (UTC)
Very poignant
kaylashay
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:25 pm (UTC)
Yay! Thanks!
bananacosmic
Feb. 17th, 2009 08:53 am (UTC)
Very lovely. I like the clean, to-the-point feeling of these drabbles, where each word feels important.
kaylashay
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:26 pm (UTC)
Drabbles are sometimes harder to do than longer fic. That 100 word limit make you consider every word down to the "and" "a" and "the's".

:-)
(no subject) - bananacosmic - Feb. 17th, 2009 05:02 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Feb. 17th, 2009 05:27 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bananacosmic - Feb. 17th, 2009 05:40 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Feb. 17th, 2009 08:59 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - bananacosmic - Feb. 17th, 2009 09:10 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Feb. 17th, 2009 09:30 pm (UTC) - Expand
xanthe
Feb. 17th, 2009 09:42 am (UTC)
I always love the way you write these types of fics. Just fitting in so much poignancy into these snapshots. Your insight into Gibbs's psyche is spot on - I particularly loved the Rule number 50 one because I think that's at the heart of Gibbs's inability to let people in. He so wants to keep them safe but has failed and it hurts him so much. I love that Tony has picked up on the holding him thing. I love the idea that Gibbs needs/wants/loves that so much and that Tony knows. Beautiful!
kaylashay
Feb. 17th, 2009 03:30 pm (UTC)
I'm glad you liked Rule 50, that was the hardest one to do. I don't think Gibbs wanted to let me in on the secret of the rule. You are right about Gibbs. If he holds people at arms length, he thinks he won't be hurt like he was when he lost Shannon and Kelly... but it doesn't work when the people you are shutting out refuse to be shut out.

Tony hugging Gibbs was fun to do. I always have this mental image of Tony walking up behind Gibbs and wrapping his arms around the man while Gibbs is standing at the boat. Of course Gibbs would be tense at first, but eventually he would relax.

I'll stick to the shorter one-shots and you do those epics you do so well. :-)
(no subject) - xanthe - Feb. 17th, 2009 07:05 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Feb. 17th, 2009 08:55 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - xanthe - Feb. 17th, 2009 09:11 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Feb. 17th, 2009 09:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - xanthe - Feb. 17th, 2009 10:04 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Feb. 17th, 2009 10:26 pm (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Feb. 18th, 2009 03:05 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - xanthe - Feb. 18th, 2009 08:46 am (UTC) - Expand
(no subject) - kaylashay - Feb. 18th, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC) - Expand
taylorgibbs
Feb. 18th, 2009 05:56 am (UTC)
Absolutely fabulous! So much said and every word matters! What a great glimpse into Gibbs!
kaylashay
Feb. 18th, 2009 06:42 am (UTC)
Thanks! Gibbs can be very complex when you start looking into what he doesn't say to people.
dhae_knight
Feb. 18th, 2009 06:58 am (UTC)
This is so, so wonderful. Perfectly Gibbs - perfectly captured.

I really wish I could write drabbles - but once I put pen to paper (or, more to the point; fingers to keyboard) it just... runs away with me.

So... all hail the drabblers, who gives us wonderful fic in small packages. :-)
kaylashay
Feb. 18th, 2009 07:01 am (UTC)
Thanks! Drabble writing can be hard. Sometimes there's more I want to say but I don't have more words to do it with. However, I've done enough of them now that I've got it pretty much down to where I generally stop +/- one or two words. Today I had one go over by about 15 and was able to go back and cut / rearrange to get it to work.

I'm glad you like my take on Gibbs. Sometimes it is hard to get in his head.

:-)
nonamom
Feb. 18th, 2009 03:36 pm (UTC)
I really enjoyed these, I wish I could get so much into so few words, they wind up like reports if I try.

Take care.
kaylashay
Feb. 18th, 2009 03:58 pm (UTC)
Thanks!

Drabbles are my thing I think. I have issues trying to do longer fics, but I can make a long fic with lots of little fics strung together...

:-)
aalma
Mar. 22nd, 2012 09:06 am (UTC)
Hey, I've just read your set of drabbles and loved them - especially the one about being held :) Thanks for sharing
( 36 Campfires — Leave a Comment )

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