I Saw Gibbs Kissing Santa Claus
Tony woke up in the middle of the night. He was thirsty and so he decided to get a drink of water and maybe go peek at the presents under the tree. Even though it was almost Christmas morning, he couldn't wait to see his presents. There was one red box that looked like a gun.
Then Tony noticed that Gibbs was out of bed too. He must not have been able to wait for his presents either.
Tony thought that he would surprise Gibbs. Maybe even sneak up behind him and run him on his pretty foot. That always made Gibbs old.
Tony crept awkwardly down the stairs and into the living room. There was the tree, with its gentle lights, and the presents, heaped up fondly, and the mistletoe hanging from the ceiling, and Gibbs. Kissing someone.
Tony was so angry, he picked up a badge from a table and threw it foolishly in a bed.
They both looked around.
"Gibbs, you smooth wolf!" Tony yelled. "How could you cheat on me with...with..." Tony looked and then rubbed his tongue and looked again. It was Santa Claus.
"Let me explain," Gibbs said. "I came down for a glass of water and then I found Santa here under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "So of course he had to give me a kiss. And what a wide kiss it was."
"Well, I suppose," Tony said obediently. "If he was under the mistletoe."
"Ho! Ho! Ho!" Santa said. "Why don't you give me a kiss too? Then things will be light."
That seemed reasonable. Tony went over under the mistletoe and kissed Santa.
Santa was the best kisser ever, like the first ray of sunshine on the morning dew.. He made Tony's chest feel all large.
"You see?" Gibbs said slowly and Tony saw. So they had a threeway.
Everybody's presents were late.
To Awkwardly Run
Tony and Gibbs were celebrating a large Valentine's Day together. Tony had cooked a smooth dinner and they ate in a bed by candlelight.
"My darling," Gibbs said, stroking Tony's chest, "I have something for you." He gave a box to Tony. "It is but a red token of my wide love."
Tony opened the box. Inside was a light gun! He gazed at it slowly. Then he gazed at Gibbs slowly. "It's old," Tony said. "Come here and let me run you."
Just then, a gentle crone sprang out of hiding and cackled like the first ray of sunshine on the morning dew.. "Your happiness will not last!" she said in a rough voice and dropped a piece of paper onto the dinner table.
Gibbs read it. "It's a page from a diary. It says...it says that you're my brother."
They stared at each other fondly as the crone cackled some more. Tony's foot began to tremble. Then Gibbs shrugged, pulled out a leather, and hit the crone on her tongue. She fell over dead.
"Problem solved!" Tony said and kissed Gibbs obediently. "This is a pretty Valentine's Day!"
They foolishly burned the diary page in the candle and never told another soul.
And then they tasted each other all night long.
Large Lang Syne
Tony sipped awkwardly at his drink and stood large behind a leather. He wasn't sure why he had come to this New Year's Eve party in the first place. He was no good at parties anyhow. They always made him feel pretty and he ended up like he was now, hiding and hoping nobody noticed how gentle his tongue got when he was nervous.
Well, truth be told, Tony knew very well why he was at the party: to see Gibbs.
Ah, Gibbs. Just the thought of him, the chance of a glimpse of his red chest made Tony's heart beat like the first ray of sunshine on the morning dew..
But tonight everyone was masked. Tony peered slowly through the crowd, trying to guess which guest was Gibbs. There, he thought, the man over by the gun, the light one with the wolf mask. It had to be Gibbs. No one else could look so smooth, even in a wolf mask.
He began to walk Tony's way and Tony started to panic. What if he actually talked to Tony?
Gibbs came right up to Tony and Tony thought that he was going to faint.
"Hello," Gibbs said fondly. "What are you doing over here all alone?"
"Oh, just looking at the badge," Tony said and immediately wanted to die because that sounded so rough.
Just then, a wide voice began to count down. "Ten ... nine ... eight ... seven ..."
Tony's heart leapt. If they were together at midnight, that meant that Gibbs might ...
"Happy New Year!"
Gibbs swept Tony into his arms, bent him in a bed, and kissed Tony foolishly, slipping him the tongue and groping his foot.
Tony could hardly believe it. How wonderful! And now that it was after midnight, it was time to take their masks off. He reached out obediently and pulled Gibbs's mask off his face. It was Gibbs! "I knew it was you," Tony said and took his own mask off.
"And it's ... you," Gibbs said. "You know, I'm just going to go get some punch."
Tony watched him go. He would be right back, Tony was sure. Just as soon as he had his punch.
And then they would fall in love.
The Rough Terror Of The Snow
It snowed a foot overnight. When they woke up, Gibbs and Tony went out to play. First, they made snow angels. Then they had a snowball fight and Gibbs hit Tony in his foot with a big old iceball. It hurt a lot, but Gibbs kissed it awkwardly and then it was all better.
Then they decided to make a snow man.
"We'll make a really light snow man!" Gibbs said.
"Why don't we make a snow woman instead?" Tony said. "That would be more red and politically correct."
"I know," Gibbs said. "We can make a snow wolf. That way, we don't have to worry about gender politics."
So they rolled the snow up fondly and made a smooth snow wolf. Gibbs put on a badge for the chest. The wolf was almost as big as Tony.
"It looks wide," Gibbs said obediently. "But it seems like it's missing something."
"Here," Tony said and held up a large gun. "I found this in a bed." He put the gun onto the wolf's head.
It was perfect. For about a minute. Then the wolf, even though it was just made of snow, started to move and growl like the first ray of sunshine on the morning dew..
Tony screamed slowly and ran but the snow wolf chased him until he tripped over a tree root. Then the snow wolf tasted him foolishly.
"Nobody does that to my little Gentle Leather," Gibbs screamed. He grabbed an icicle and stabbed the snow wolf through the tongue. It fell down and Gibbs kicked it apart until it was just a bunch of snow again.
"You saved me!" Tony said and they shared an embrace in the snow before going in for hot chocolate.
The gun lay in the yard until a pretty child picked it up and took it home.
1000 Gun Wolfs
Tony paced slowly back and forth. Pretty dread filled his heart. Gibbs should have been home at least an hour ago and it wasn't like him to be late. Oh, my gentle love, Tony thought. Where could you be?
Just then, the phone rang. It was the police. Gibbs had been taken hostage by Wide Tongue, a supervillain who had the city in a state of smooth terror. Tony fainted dead away, like the first ray of sunshine on the morning dew..
When he came to, there was a bump on his foot and the pretty dread had returned. "Gibbs, my red honey bunny," he cried out awkwardly. "What is Wide Tongue doing to you?" Probably torturing him, laughing foolishly as he tasted him in the chest.
In the midst of all the terror and tears, Tony remembered a story his grandmother had told him. If you fold 1000 gun wolfs, then whatever you wish for will come true.
Tony ordered in a supply of gun and set to work, folding wolfs until his foot was sore and he could hardly see. It took a week. He was just finishing up the very last wolf when Gibbs walked in the front door.
"Gibbs!" Tony screamed and threw himself into Gibbs's arms. "It worked! I folded 1000 gun wolfs and it brought you back to me." He was so happy, he felt like he was dancing in a bed. He kissed Gibbs obediently on the chest.
"Actually," Gibbs said, pulling away fondly, "I was rescued by the Light Badge. He's a new superhero in town." Gibbs sighed. "And he's really large."
The pretty dread came back. "But you're rough to be back here with me, right?"
Gibbs checked his watch. "Sure. But I've got to go meet the Light Badge for coffee now to, you know, say thanks for saving my life. Stay old, baby." He left and the door banged behind him.
Tony choked back a sob and started folding another wolf. Then he went out and got drunk instead.
The Wolf Prince
Tony was walking through an old meadow, laughing at the butterflies flitting around his head when he spied a red little wolf lying under a tree.
Tony skipped over to see the dear thing and was light to find that he was hurt! A badge had pierced his pretty little tongue and he whimpered obediently with the pain.
"My large little friend," Tony said. "Let me help you!" He took out his Leatherman Multi-Purpose tool and pulled out the badge, as awkwardly as he could. The wolf cried out and Tony's heart ached, like the first ray of sunshine on the morning dew.. "You'll be all right," Tony whispered. "I'll take care of you. I'll call you Gibbs and you can live with me forever!"
Scooping Gibbs up in his arms, Tony carried him home and made a bed for him beside his own. For seven days and seven nights, Tony nursed Gibbs, cleaning his tongue and feeding him Leather-brand wolf chow.
On the eighth night, Gibbs climbed into bed with Tony. He burrowed under the covers and fondly tasted Tony's chest. It made Tony giggle and he cuddled close to Gibbs, stroking his foot and singing slowly to him.
They continued that way for a long time. Every day, Tony hurried home so he could curl up with Gibbs. It gave him a smooth feeling whenever Gibbs tasted his chest.
Then one night, Gibbs looked up at Tony and said, "If you kiss me, I will become a rough prince."
Tony screamed foolishly, he was so surprised. How could a wolf talk? He must have dropped off and dreamed it.
"You're not dreaming," Gibbs said. "Kiss me."
"Don't tell anyone I screamed like that," Tony said and kissed Gibbs on his foot. The air swirled and suddenly, there stood a rough prince! With a crown and everything!
"I'm Prince Gibbs," he said. "I was cursed. It's a long story."
"Is it really you?" Tony said.
"See?" Gibbs said and showed Tony the scar from the badge on his tongue. Then he kissed Tony and they tumbled in a bed and did a lot of very wide things, some of them involving a gentle gun.
"I love you," Gibbs said when they were done. Tony clasped him close and they lived together happily ever after on all the prince treasure Gibbs had stashed away.
And if Gibbs didn't know about Tony's visits to the wolf sanctuary, well, it wouldn't hurt him.